i really should write more often but i never seem to have the time. these days its about reading not putting pen to paper.
this weekend i feel disapointed. disapointed by people and this joke of a place i call my town.
i've discovered this weekend that people are ruthless. after all i've done to help and be a good friend to most, they will always happily stick a knife in my back. and therefore i have come to the conclusion that i definately don't want to procreate.
however i realised that people can also suprise me. i realised this as i drunkenly stumbled into the bathrooms of a club the other night to find an old friend doing her makeup in the mirrors. we haven't spoken in a long time after i had stupidly defended the wrong person in a situation i wanted no involvement with. but instead of giving me dirty looks, she asked how i was doing, came over and gave me a hug. it was nice.
so on lighter notes, this weeks loves: vanilla sky, jeff buckley, beige tailored trousers, peach nails, dying my hair black and staying goth, getting money in 3 weeks and counting down to getting my arms tattooed <3, my boyfriend book he wrote for me, sleeping, candles, cats!
i feel so trapped but i have no choice but to wait. for college, and money to travel, and my stupid fucking passport to be renued. i miss so many people. i miss places, i miss certain times. i miss so much and it's all way to far away to get back right now.
oh and i've quit drinking. somewhere between being so drunk i could barely dj to laying on my bedroom floor being sick with my boyfriend holding my hair back i thought, whats the point. there's more than this.
smoking, drinking, partying, the lot. i'm fucking done. i'm going to start painting and taking photographs again. i've finally got the time and funds to do it.
i miss: xo skeletons reciting on a door step in leeds.
